if I have said I would write you a letter on that seed paper I made (I did theyre jus still sitting on my counter) or follow up with feedback in an email or if I have failed to reply to a text jus Know its not jus you its everyBody getting ghosted including my own family
I have Been doin my best to survive the continued Heartbreak of awareness
n I think of everyone who cares for n protects me genuinely every day n I hope theyre getting more telepathic
the executive dysfunction can Be crippling but I am trying to stay at a natural pace for me
much slower than the city or the feeds
Homeschooling n Heartbreak n navigating military grade cptsd is sort of taking all of my Time n energy when it comes to making small talk n texting consistently
the labor I do daily as a stay at Home Mother is made invisible n is unacknowledged by the outside world
n someTimes its really hard to stay in my Body without fully disassociating
but I am still doin my best to create to stay informed n in community to get this book written or whatever tf
n to believe in mySelf n to stay hopeful
most days Being Samadhis Mom is enough
in gratitude,
(this pic is from my solo vision questing to Catalina Island / Pimu last summer where I realized I was worth more than what I was Being given n chose mySelf n my sanity
closing one of the hardest chapters of my Life breaking curses ceremoniously n alone when I really wanted to Be with someone
shoutout to the kind stranger who took this pic n encouraged me to enjoy my Life when I was sittin there on the Water on the verge of tears :’) I will keep trying! for a better world! for the kids! thank you) #sumud
emBodied melody 