t0d4y 3y3 f3lt l1k3 wr1t1ng

6.4

read a quote somewhere that said something about not writing if you dont feel like writing because all forced things arent great n idk

n at the time eye read the quote

it was like eye had manifested solace for a fear of failure

garnered experience toward the mastery of evading blessings

eye again celebrated an ability to procrastinate

relied on an ability to recreate signs in ways that satisfy the mind

running from the pure art infinitely

toroidally

enveloping the heart

theres a weird balance between Knowing n running from it

although although although eye Know

what is said what is written

n

most importantly most obviously

what is done

is……all a part of the greater Truth

eye found myself acting in service this year

resulting in the deepest moments of Self awakening eye have been blessed to experience here in this life

eye honored eye reraised the child in me

n that of my community

Oakland She adopted me

threw me into the fire

to See

n eye understood more deeply

(than ever ! )

the layers of pain sacrifice and godliness that exist in the legacy of my DNA

crystalized helixes elixirs on this journey

eye have been here long but dont think eye have ever intended to stay

eye only ever exist to get free

I AM you because I AM me

interplanetarily

dancing far past infinity

eye mean if eye were to paint a picture for you

eyed heavily rely on colors like blue

to keep it closer 222

Truth

right at the throat of things

eye feel like my voice rings clearest now

and yea eye Know eye promised eye

would show you howto build a .wav to get to me

4444 when eye really do

GET FREE

cus none of this here is

meant for me

it has been done & will be so

the Truth we all will shortly Know

keep breathing in2 the present moment

the Light fills every cell

and with our breath we can go anywhere

we can See that all is Real

if we can slow down our heads together

come out of them !

n use our hearts to heal

the deciding factor is

(and will be)

outside the mind AND

in the heart of

what U truly FEEL

mirageofpyramids

Welcome to the New Earth.

7h4nk y0u 4444 ch0051ng u5

& so it is

-R

.

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SEX IS GOD !

on sacred unions:

theres that overused quote about being kind to everyone you meet because u never know what battles they may be fighting but this is more than that

this accelerated shift we are experiencing is ripping us out of our left brains (masculine energy) out of our one sided minds

2 unity : corpus callosum

forcing us to address lifetimes of karmic responsibility

we are seeing Signs all around us in our own languages of divinity

that prove the things some of us have been ready and waiting for

with this swirling clashing vortex of energy

people are meeting each other from very very different levels of awareness awakening and differing pure vibrational frequencies

we have been moving through love and relationships of all kinds based on rules made where? why? and by who(m – i never know when to use the m here)?

monogamy is a concept that i have been studying practicing and discussing as long as i can remember

but it is not law

(and it is statistically becoming less of the norm with minimal open discussion [in my experience/ observation])

my commitment to/with another person can not be verified by any court church or ceremony and i dont believe i want to share my union with any wayward outside entities

i prefer an agreement a contract and communicated boundaries between two whole individuals

and every aspect of that is sacred

in order for someone to love me in the way that feels best for me

the ways that i have spent much time and energy evolving through lessons to Know

i must be able to love myself

if i love myself i can communicate how and why

if i love myself i can see my Truths and i can be unashamed of them

if i love myself i can See the lessons

when i can do that

i can see that they are they same as yours

and then we can meet each other from different planets

but agree on a common ground

we can make our own language

something only we know

something that respects our individual and godly wholenesses

as contrasting but necessary contributors to each others greatest creations

our existence

every contact we have with another person

everything we create with another human being

[especially sexually]

sacred

are moments of contact to Divinity

your conception of God is absolutely present

to create is to merge Spirit with body

this is something that must be understood protected and communicated

as we can see and feel with all our parts

this is the age of the wombman

coming into our dual brained unified power is painful

the people around us (especially men) reluctant to let go of their egos are making are sporadic irrational and often dangerous choices on their routes to ascend

there is no blame to be placed

just light to be shed

ensure you are in safe spaces

mentally physically and spiritually

be present (which sometimes means letting go of that thing they did last week)

but ensure you are not hit by the shrapnel of the explosive growth of loved ones

communicate

it may put you through lessons you’ve already learned

just to teach them to you again harder louder faster

and that sucks but its O K

its to shake your 3 eyes awake in time for your blessings

to all those walking around with a lil life hut below ur navel:

know that the old constructs we are rapidly escaping

our parents and their parents teachings

have cultivated decades of shame in our bodies

if you can understand our vibrational nature as cosmic entities

u know how much trauma and stale negative energy has the potential to take root in the most powerful home on earth

the womb

if you understand this

then you also know how much raw energy is cultivated and exchanged during sex

and the stark energetic and neurological differences between genders orgasms and emotional processes

there are layers of ancestral guilt and shame that have created many misaligned lives in this current reality

we must heal the mess we have created together
womb-healing

do not allow these karmic punishments to limit your ability to feel to love to feel free and to create life

no these are not solely your punishments or shame

but we must collectively acknowledge the mistakes and errors we did make

the injustices that we did commit against ourselves while learning to love

we must address them head on with our trusted equally deserving sisters

See ourselves in each other

and take responsibility for the things we have done in this body

to feel the love and accept the blessings sent for us

**especially if these are last incarnations

**especially if we are moving into the dark times that our ancestors and Higher Selves have planned for

we must be enlightened from the inside out.

 

if these things sound strange or gross or preachy i understand

but take them in feel your body with the most powerful parts

and meet the energy of others with alignment

with deliberate healthy sacred intention

do not be afraid to communicate your needs wants pains triggers and fears

place yourself in safe loving positions of discomfort 2 grow

unapologetically yet gracefully exist in your unique identity

my love looks different than your love

it sounds different

comes in a different package

we speak a different language

but it is the highest frequency eye know

and it deserves to be harmoniously synchronized for the collective ascension of all

 

 

 

free

YOU ARE WORTHY OF PURE DELIBERATE LOVE
YOU ARE DIVINE
IF YOU FOCUS ON BEING CENTERED IN YOUR MIND BODY AND SPIRIT
USING THE MULTITUDE OF RESOURCES AVAILABLE TO YOU
(BOOKS X GOOGLE X UR CULTURAL KNOWLEDGE X INTUITION)
YOU WILL SEE YOUR DESTINY MANIFESTED IN THE FORM OF YOUR WILDEST DREAMS
COMMIT YOURSELF TO WHAT YOU KNOW TO BE TRUE
IS THE DIVINE GODDESS SPEAKING TO YOU ?
COMPARTIR LA OLA

 

 

 

 

 

 

stagnant students

writing to my peers without sounding preachy  without privilege unsuspectingly running unchecked is a practice

‘no way you’re a gentrifier’ an uber driver said to me like it was some sort of grade to my humanity i think she defined them by how open their hearts are

interactions with peers is competitive banter

a judgment a gradation a fact check a detachment from the heart from True understanding Knowledge and connection to be first best or right

aligned to what definition? what virtues define your righteousness? how would your Teacher your Guide your God[(-s)-desses)] grade your in class participation? your practice?

uninformed debate is a detrimental desecration of collective communication

of Power

walking the edges of my mind has been as equally enlightening as isolating

\ do you have to be isolated to understand? to travel? are there better ways to use what ‘traditionally american’ values we know we know to speak on our passions? our rights?

working/existing in the oakland unified school district has been

well its been

there are a lot of problems. problems i use my heart to feel my eyes to see my mind to study…and my Truths to try to fix

right now i am shopping for my masters degree and it is one of the only ways i feel powerful

being centered before buying into the game is not a lost hope

deeply study the way people move have moved and will move before you must sell any parts of yourself to them

i have been taking my time because these periods of privileged personal growth have been pivotal and prioritized

aspects of ascension administer answers and aloneness allows advancement

perspective a personal pilgrimage

and identifying the problems with the education system is an experiential journey

for people of color an extended consciousness to daily reality

writing about things documents them forever – with a potential to time travel

building ‘better’ schools only concentrates issues

charters catalyze capitalism and conviction of kids

teaching happens at the mercy of your administrator (i.e the local gov’t)

implementation of knowledge is intentionally indoctrinated

although i have been deeply inspired by the leaps in inclusion of technology to curriculums i see attention spans that are tech reward driven

traditional work is rushed to apply concepts to a more innate medium

real regulated reading requirements are rare

how do we create more balance  there?

how do we create culture cultivating community plus parental participation under the systemic circumstances?

how do we find more faculty on campuses that can see with all their parts?

do you have to sell out to make things relevant? do you have to use increased force to be heard?

can a system be changed without carnage?

no matter how long i think how much i write i fight being trapped in internalized isolation

a downward infinite spiral of super self aware helplessness

forever fighting fear of failure

(define failure)

Seeing that cynical sentiments cease to succeed to self sacrificial service

scholarly success sometimes solicits spiritual sacrifice

pathetically pieces of paper permit power

so i buckle up and down

alter the screenplay of my own reality to continue to nurture the balance between passion and practicality

exit mind

enter heart

n stay ready

talking with the planets

beginning of december 

 

with enough electric energy

you can create lift

but there have always been signs alluding to something more

i remember the first time i understood the life i thought i was in control of  may have been an alternate reality

idk if you call it an ego death because ive had a handful of those

maybe a consciousness shift  thats what the kids are saying

or just a realization and reminder of whats true what ive always spoken practiced preached embodied and been driven (mad) by

maybe ive been living outside of my body ?

i cant be sure if its not the other way around but whichever it is maybe my age my brain development my special relationship with the universe

has taken a startling new level of contact to divinity

or loss of sanity

for the greater good of humanity …?

like im on some type of mission with a defined set of instructions that can only be accessed when everything is aligned

under the guide of a higher force

ive always known it always used it always knew my ability to rationalize to empathize to strategize to organize to predict to plan to heal to be the universe itself in every way

is different

my friends?

theyre from the world and they all have powers

im not better

not more valuable or needed

but i see things in a way that can help other people see the same things that already exist in themselves

none of this is real there is so much love

there is so much love

and ive slept the last few earth years of my life in a different body

people didnt really need me yet but i saw them and i understood

that some things must be felt in the full magnitude of experience solitude and rude uninvited awakening

i watched and learned and surveyed

waited

 

(i am still waiting )

 

i knew that there would come a time where i would be needed

sought after

hated for: honesty and perceived instability

loved beyond measure for who i am

ive been

in a big ass boat on the river of the nile

denial lol

detachment

i let the things get to me i let the love the pursuit take an impulsive turn attempting to avoid my calling

as expected

ive never even read the bible

or been baptized

or taught to pray to any one god or organization

just to love and always ask why

but the thing ive realized in my most recent epiphanic soberingly trance state

is that if

if its not me who?

if not you then?

its so hard when everybody needs you to feel everything but

be brave youve been here before its all in u already

all great artists feel they are instruments of a higher purpose

in every generation every era there is a wave of enlightenment

oh this is gonna be the one!

theyre gonna come down and save the worthy!

i talk to “god” all day

every day

im studying her in every move i make

these are revolutionary times

and from what shes told me

what i know in my soul

is that everything has always been here

always will be

and there are a big set of eyes we all get to choose to put on you see

what i see

is not real

what i see is how i feel

whatever power is behind the plan

certain souls are sent

inclined

able to be receptors of the higher knowledge

when will we have our golden age?

will mankind even be around when it is ready to receive the information needed to make things make sense?

*sigh*

i mean all

all i know is

im just an existential mixed privileged millennial person writing on a self-proclaimed soapbox until i either have another piece of paper proving i sold my soul for the sake of some concept of advancement

a figure altering surgery to prove i have sold my soul enough to look the part

a fabricated reality affirmed in a certain number of profit-seeking likes

or a personal connection valued enough by the general public to sign off on my ideas being valuable or anything remotely extraordinary

 

these are not scary times

these are times where we break into the true understanding of our purpose on this planet and i dont know how to wake enough people up in time

sooooOOOOOOOOooOOoOo

i dance around in the reality weve built with memes avoid organizing the answers and utilizing them because im not sure how to get them out

i think im close

i think i know it all

i think im you and i think youre me

i think if we…………………………

if i just….. teach people? how to see the signs

be an example an open ear stay the course stay in school

but they want to

jsut drink more water eat vegan starboy lit

or ……….idk….play it safe with their minds i guess i get it

…………….fashiuoewpasd;

but its not too much its not too hard its real

its real

and

ill help you help yourself if i can i must

theres no time

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  • read the emerald tablets or bible or whatever u choose critically
    • read everything critically
    • like read it and ask if it sounds right if it feels right if it makes sense
    • write that down and read something else on it
      • compare
  • stop fucking up your brain and body for more than the sake of a health / drug trend
  • unearth the esoteric nature of all publications
    • google is not a lost tool yet
    • neither are dictionaries books libraries or librarians
    • use tangible resources
    • print it out
    • write it with pen
  • abandon your idols be your own
  • consider conspiracies
    • what are they
    • why do they sound crazy
    • how are they reinforced and denied in every way on every platform
  • consider your parents perspectives
    • readily accept as fact ? or trust what your heart knows goes hand in hand with your culture / upbringing in an innovative well-informed way
  • talk to people you know you feel that odd sense of connectivity with
    • listen to it
  • touch plants buy them water them
  • take pictures record videos save them off the cloud
  • having more coincidences than usual? pay attention to the signs in front of you
  • let them guide you
  • let go

(you know exactly what i mean)

 

wake up be love we need your powers

 

xx

R

 

 

 

 

 

 

end of september

wasnt sure what to expect my first day but the email said to get there at 8. i was raised on military time – on time is late. got to the school an hour and a half before i needed to be and walked around the campus. langston hughes hand painted on the walls promising positivity. the combination of crayons glue paper and that weird plastic cafeteria food smell are comforting. it definitely feels like a safe zone you even have to be buzzed into the gate by security!

i was taken aback by the demographics. my uber driver called the area ‘little tiawuana’ an offensive mispronunciation of a city i grew up walking distance from. before i was enculturated in my own i was spanish speaking code switching in a whole different way. silver toothed baby smiles broken sentences arent pitiful theyre familial but i was confused. i thought oakland was black ? where are all the black kids? why are all the teachers out of an anthropologie magazine? not the academic kind…..my first day

my first day i was told by other teachers people electing to work in an underserved area what schools in east oakland to avoid

because thats where the “bad kids” are

what an

interesting

dynamic

the moment i set foot on the steps i was an educator a leader a mother a reference point for how to be because thats what school is and thats what educating positions do

me? what? why?

teachers were created to instill and direct culture

institutionalized americaness

and often the correction of or erasure of the other

who makes it and who doesnt

what an

interesting

dynamic

where do i fit in here? is this right? where does my privilege passion identity and perspective help rather than perpetuate the same interesting dynamic?

perpetuate the same interesting dynamic

why are all the seemingly passionate empathetic people in my generation leaving to satisfy their civic duties for humanity overseas?

why are they leaving these innocent babies to suffer under the downfall of a system that was not built to protect them?

the hope of our future

to suffer under the downfall of a system that was not built to protect them?

when we need so much collective help HERE? in every way

in every way

i was making exit plans for when shit goes down

because no matter if youre a pessimist optimist athiest or person of god(s)

we can all agree it has never been a matter of i f

but always w h e n

i decided im going to stay here

this is my home and im going to protect it

maybe i was blessed to see the world at a young age for a reason

i know that theyve got it figured out elsewhere

much more than us

but also not the fuck at all

i know that we are all struggling in the same ways facing the same perils

together

we are having a kind of social revolution and awakening in the united states that many cultures / societies experience repeatedly

resulting in death

daily

they got toilets older than our entire country

look it up

just because our disneyland is falling apart

doesnt mean we quit

fact check whatever conspiracy whatever scripture you want

read everything you can join a cult club write a blog go back to what you know you need

TALK TO PEOPLE

is the weed really helping? you know the alcohol isnt. idk about pills but definitely flush em homes find god

is it a coincidence that the narrative about “drugs” is softening? should we be numb right now?

 

go/call home

prayer comes in all forms

we understand the fragility of the virtual world and how much potential we have for construction and destruction

social media has been around for long enough to where we get it… we see it for what it is and we

\

we arent impressed by it because we have mastered the nature of it

because we have mastered the nature of it

so now what?

now we build fam

now we use it as a tool

while we still can

dont make fun of effort if you cant say youre doing the same

but also never believe ur own hype

accept delayed gratification as real gratification again

because thats what will sustain

invest in longevity

that means………work

because just as fast we are realizing and actualizing our voices  the intersection of worlds that exist in our millennial mess

 

 

they are too

wtf does disney want with twitter yo?

what could they possibly want ….?

they see the power we have as a unit

when we question everything and we come with the muhfkn receipts

they promised us so much. its a small world…so go to college! be a doctor! the promised land! love all!

this is a caste system

my peers are homeless.

and for the racially challenged readers im not just talking about my black peers – u cornball

they dont want us to succeed

ascribe whatever personification to it u need

they dont want us to love each other

they want this tool to be divisive oppressive filtered fake versions of the things that make us feel human in the physical world

the virtual reality is somewhat unavoidable

we’re here

but we are rushing it

did you know that evolutionarily speaking our guts are still somewhere back a couple thousand years

and our diets based on the agricultural revolution ($$$$$$)

conflict with our hunter-gatherer primal eating habits

read about it

a result of our intellect and brainpower

we are rushing our physical bodies

making them sick

and we cant figure out how to cope so we self medicate because

is it too late?

does it matter?

am i hopeless?

why try?

NO

slow

down

come

together

make your own grow your own smoke your own love your own protect your own invest your own

tell them you love them

be honest

love without expectation

since i got here i have noticed a shift in my life

ive been on some kinda minimalistic self-journey

in a way that i try not to spend all of my time working out but acting on

ill look/be lost if i have to to figure it out

because i know im not the only one

if your voice shakes or whatever whatever youre going the right way

i dont care if im perceived incorrectly or trivially whole time

ill take the token role the oreo slander the fake woke the lost rich girl the bitch the boy the athlete the lucky the sad  .,m./.,.,m///,…

i will take it all

none of its new

weve been here before weve been here the whole time we will be here again

i do the best i can with it

i have the older generations looking at me with an empty toolbox

hoping their struggle wasnt in vain and that they prepared us well enough

because without scaring us

theyre urging us and telling us that they dont know what else to do either

no one ever has lol

sitting around talking and posting about our wokeness not doing a got damn thing

but making us anxious and unable to function as our species always has

collectively 

we have the time to be extra existential when we are all living for ourselves

most of our parents had kids by now

another interesting dynamic

 

this week i learned that:

the youth cannot read………..

maybe we fell into the generation where the cyclical nature of politics personhood artistry astrology happen to be shitty

and thats just the way it is

so im accepting all the fleeting realizations im acknoweldging it and im letting it pass

im working on me as a collective we

im going to do it openly and honestly when i can

because i do not enjoy being misunderstood

the way we interact now makes it impossible not to be

so u can catch me constantly searching for the balance between passion and practicality

constantly searching for the balance between passion and practicality

the balance between passion and practicality

between passion and practicality

passion and practicality

and practicality

 

 

 

 

 

 

hbu?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

i know im technically a gentrifier

but this was a pilgrimage. it took five days before i stopped waking up confused about how i got here. the last year ive been living in a video game. still not sure whether giving into a backseat position in my life is going crazy or becoming enlightened. how do i paint a visceral image with a keyboard? there is a feeling behind the back of your skull when youre tapped in. there is a set of eyes behind your set of eyes. everything is distant and dark you see multiperspectives in 4d. you dont have legs you fly…………………………………..maybe you it call the zone. athletes do it. musicians orgasm on stage . we speak in tongues that are not our own channeling a form that transcends. a resonating infinite golden pattern.  we use whatever we humanly can to translate it to make it make sense make sound make shape

it

is

godly.

like higher than any other thing  it cycles deeper it buzzes right behind your bellybutton. maybe its dead relatives leaving you a sign or you say its a coincidence or timing maybe espiritus just sheer luck  did the stars align or  a man in the sky? meditating or astral projection? because when youre really on that wave youre looking down at yourself from above. there is evidence we are living in a simulation  but im not math minded enough to take that route i like to find my version of it waking up next to someone i love in that perfect spot for my face –> neck.

im masochistic when i reach new levels i gut myself in the bloodiest way leave with no evidence.

the burdening pursuit to see yourself in all people the courage to wipe the dust off the mirrors. mirrors everywhere. terrifyingly identical replications of the same needs dreams things. falling in love dangerously often fearlessly deep. confessing my sins in your lap building churches out of making up no i wasnt making dua to your smile thats a bad bad religion.

at night i wake up > once still not sure how to sleep in a bed alone and it scares me that i feel so empowered and so limbless without that codependent connection. whats the line between symbiotic and parasitic? am i pitiful or am i human for longing? because in the way i have been channeling the universe the way i harness the power of being here now feels best in love always all ways

this summer i learned how to introspect in an unplanned absence i learned to grieve for souls ive never met i humbled myself i cleaned up i uprooted upset kept to family i healed over the loss of a home

i

let

go

forgave for forward functionalism

because i had no choice but to follow the signs proving every single thing is conspiring and culminating to create this moment of never ending awakening

 

 

 

i am i am i am