something woke me out my sleep like “he hated Black women n dark skinned women” I stg lmao n I was no longer sad about the abuse I dealt with this last year bc how come he lied sm to hide that he was following teen adjacent Asian n Latina women n lil boys literally every single day on 5+ diff accounts but never a single Black woman? the contents of a mans phone n social media patterns tell sm always check them
bc I was literally briefly sleeping with the enemy n trying to understand why he treated me like he hated me thank God(dess) my ancestors destroy everything my autistic overly Loving ass takes way too long to See that man preyed on me n others for some weird Self loathing reasons I cant Now unSee as I wash mySelf of the violence inflicted onto me by a fr rap wannaBe a closeted empty sad excuse of a man n his lil cult members all dependent on someone elses swag to Be noticed in any capacity no spines or originality
n then to verbalize it in the end after I ended things multiple Times bc of his constant yelling n instability n lying n weird beliefs about age mixing I jus accepted the Heartbreak n that this person is unwell (n maybe on drugs) n removed mySelf he emailed n begged to talk to me n See me again but refused to confirm if my personal info was safe / deleted (he keeps his exes nudes from what Ive Seen n lies pathologically…saying it was me …that I did something to his phone…lol…that his hidden following is a glitch…etc…) the more proof shown the more he lied n put me in physically unsafe situations n was extremely verbally abusive n emotionally manipulative to me making it hard to think clearly he spewed all kinda racially weird shit about him actually Being a Black man (hes not) calling me a demon n talking shit about exes n a mutual friend n my preference for conscious safe Black ppl saying Im prejudice n brainwashed? n then spiraled into stories about how his ex left him n slept with a Black man??? n all kinda personal traumas about every woman I had a question about (but he said he never he knew)…like…this man is a plague to everyone who opens up to him n caused me sm distress Knowing I am neurodivergent n unable to process the same n so I was the get back? this whole thing was about a broken tiny male ego? a racist inferiority complex? a beard? some sort of weird conquest for energy he cant even handle? n doesnt even like? maybe he was an actual cia agent lmao n is lil B some kind of trafficker or operative fr? dude showed me the cult recruitment requirements n how they look for young boys girls n sht n I read his messages n realized I was Being targeted n groomed by the same industry sht I escaped n avoided all of my 20s I am Not a sex worker an of model n never have Been (no shade at all) n I will Never make my world about the basedgod or bowing to a man or sacrificing my morals for Belonging n fame I have a Father n a relationship with God(dess) n Jesus himSelf cult tactics do Not work on me n trying to abuse me psychologically n sexually will not end well n wont get me to write TYBG on my Body (thats why you made ai pictures of me like that for your branding without my consent – a whole new kind of sexual harassment) someTimes I am slow but I am not unprotected n I am unable to lie my magic n power is used to protect not to coerce jus Know I never wanna Be Loved Mexicanly or Italianly again tyvm lol bc its nothing #based about Being a colonizer or a predator or pushing someone to their breaking point for fun n then gasLighting n threatening them when there is a child involved its unforgivable I have a zero tolerance policy n I will make a public n a formal report to whoever you answer to (your Mom your high school ex the random bitches online your celebrity crush n your employer) bc that specific brand of covert narcissism antiBlackness n colorism overlaps sadistically with a fetish for violent porn Black music n cultural extraction / appropriation n grooming it all upholds carceral rape culture n pretends to Be progressive n down n protective of kids abiding by some “code” that needs to Be uprooted nothing about those “based” underground networks is liberating or safe for Black women or the youth (n the ones involved in that bs are an embarrassment to women imo) keep all that tainted music bc that dude should Not have access to school aged children in an educational or a creative setting idc if hes autistic abusers are Not safe around kids (+ familiarize yourself with the mandated reporting process if you care about protecting children in school settings) bc I met one dude on this website in 2024 n was introduced to a whole lot of really creepy fuckery that I needed to See to Be a better Mother n member of my multiply marginalized creative community I dont do anything for clout or visibility I arrive in Love n honesty n I am FREE at last from that methy inland empire washed up deep fried bs absolutely Never again
ase n amen
emBodied melody 