I like to go away someTimes
into the safety of my own space n mind I find restoration n belonging in other worlds where peace is the norm
my departures have Changed since Samadhi was Born
I find mySelf slipping away to my quiet place(s) with a tired face
maybe I do dissociate (– or is it disassociating?)
I have had to find reNewed ways to merge my unSeen departures with my shared Realities
Now I (co)create consciously n that validates me sustainably
to Be gifted with Samadhi
I can See the Divine responsibility I am called to accept in each moment
this journey is no longer jus about me
one Time an elder said in front of me something along the lines of
‘who Knows where She would have Been without that baby’
n it was a Knowing message – it didnt feel limiting
it was one that comes from someone who has Seen how a new Life shifts all things
n for those who are willing to lean in
to turn the gaze inwardly
it is a multidimensionally transformative blessing
parenting is an undertaking
n growing FutureSeeds take over — reaching from above n below guiding from a place we forget we Know
I feel humbled to observe that there is a quickening of the Remembering
because of pure Love
we carry out our Living testimonies
last year I journeyed deep
dancing dangerously close to the edge at the risk of losing everything
when I met the grieving n realized what was Being asked of me
naturally
in my naivety I believed I was meant to sacrifice all of me
I mean
that is what had Been shown to me
the martyr(ing)
I wanted to Be like that
withering away jus to say
“I was here
…and there”
I spent a decade attempting to play all of the parts
n did
now I write in wonder n awe with all of the sides of me I hid
I write in a chaotic clamorous stillness
Live alchemy
n in humility for all of the ways that my guides have protected me on my journey(ing)
six years of Soulmate unity three years of conscious parenting n Soul retrieving seven months of Living separately 13 months of no drinking n no sexing one year of microdosing addressing two decades of avoiding Being wholly emBodied
I under-inner-over-stand now
the ability to experiment is a privilege
one that is no longer lost on me
I was willing to lose everything
Saturns lessons reflect the consequential nature of EarthTime n under Her instruction I find mySelf back on the good Timeline
twelve weeks n several months of anciently futuristic somatic healing therapies n my memories came back to me
the veils of amnesia were removed from my eyes by matriarchal guides
masterful Source conduits
they led me to consider more possibilities
maybe this is the longest Life that I have ever Lived
n maybe for me this is the other side
I See Heaven every Sunrise
they say the Truth can Be felt
n now that I have learned how to receive help I move with an unwavering faith n an impenetrable auric grace(fulness)
(in n for my Self)
the fragmented scattered parts of me
the ways that I shapeshifted
trying to get others to See
it all has Been returned to me
in the release of fearful traits
from the fascia all of the hate loops back around n into the ground
fueling me
“Free Energy”
n in some inconvenient ways I am still jus the same
n probably always will Be
but when I sit down to put my Heart on the page today I am the whole melody emBodied
thank you(s) for reminding me
& so it is + will Be.
R
lane. riley 